We think with our hearts, we feel with our minds.

Stop thinking start feeling.You've eaten my soul, planted an impassable seed inside me.
I was fine. I was healthy and independent before this.
I had independent thoughts and independent dreams and now you're a frequent visitor.
Im not sure if you know the amount of control you have over me.
How every single action of yours and every word quickens my pulse.
I am constantly on edge. But I'm sure you know this.
Being like everyone else im sure you'll take advantage of it.
I cant play anymore, I'm fighting every single urge to just go to you.
This was harder than expected.
Why do I lack so much control when it comes to you.
I feel like a dog chasing cars.
Once I finally got you I dont know what I would do.
Am I ready to be let down again?
Would you?
You seem different. You don't seem like the rest. You aren't like anyone I've ever met before so why have you already let me down more than most. I hardly even know you but you seem to be able to put me in my place like no one has. You seem to be able to tame and control my anger and my desperation. You make me focus and then send my mind a flurry when you're absent.
I know I dont know what is coming. The issues that can emerge but at this moment I dont care anymore. I just want you. Every single thought and memory. Every story to every wall. Tell me about every brick in every wall you've built.
How is that when I am with you I feel so damn insignificant and small. I feel like a child again when with anyone else I feel like I am in such control.
If only you could be honest with your spoken word, if only you stopped making excuses.
There is no harm in giving in. I don't smile with a knife behind my back.
Words rush into my mind, and I can't seem to find anything important enough to pass my lips. It could be alternate substances or maybe the lack of nourishment or sleep thats making my head swirl, but I sit in this apartment just wanting to walk out that door and walk to find some kind of clarity in this emotion.
Quit sulking on what life has dealt you and read the cards that I hold in my hands.
I swear my hands are full of hearts.