Walk Away.

It's hard to hear.
And harder to watch.
I'd rather not be there
Yet i wish you good luck.
It's hard to wish the best
To those who once belong to you,
And those who wronged you too.
But I'd rather wish them both the best
And keep my mouth glued.
Although it aches inside my heart
And kills me in my brain
I know that this is the best way.
I know from this i gain,
the strength to find better things
In life and trust and love.
It's best to sometimes walk away,
From those you truly love.

When did it all end.

I would give anything
to erase the past.
And have it be just you and me
laying on the grass.
Like how it use to be
when we first began.
Baby yeah just you and me,
and to have it last.

Before the complications and the mess.
Before being with you caused me stress.
Where there was innocence
to what we had.
Baby I just want to go back.

When the times were good.
And you were mine.
When thinking of your mistakes
didn't have me dying.
Those days when we just needed eachother.
Oh I would rather have no other.

Oh I don't know.
Where all the good times go.
Oh I ask why.
I call out to the sky.
Don't know who,
took the kindness out of you.
I just want to know when
all the good times ended.

Your mind may refuse to believe.

I don't know which is worse,
the fact that you could find it in yourself to do that
or that I've already forgiven you.
There is no explanation for the gravitational pull that we have for eachother, but that does explain the space we need.
In truth, I couldn't leave if I wanted to and I've never been gone.
I've been sitting in the same spot you left me, waiting for some sign on what to do next.
But during this amount of time of solitude.
Things have changed.
You can try and make me fall in love with you again but those tricks don't have the same effect they use to.
All the lies that have been told.
All the unspoken and hidden truths,
have changed how I see you.
I don't want you in that way anymore.
If rather be alone in my own bed then have you in mine one day and in someone elses the next.
There is no room for you in my heart, in my bed, in my arms or on my lips.
I'm still here and I do still love you.
But now only as a friend.
The distance between us.
Increases by the day.
Words go unsaid, emotions not felt.
But one look at your face made me realize it wasn't over for you.
So space is good. Space is needed, and who knows for how long.
Nothing can change the fact that I want you to be happy. I want the best for you above all else. This is how I've been able to deal with your disapperances.
Not even time could change how I feel.
The pain will fade eventually, but when you truly love someone, it is forever constant and unfaltering. When you love someone you want the best for them even when it means your not on the picture for who knows how long. I've seen the best of you. I've seen the worst of you.
Loving someone might not be enough sometimes but it's worth it.
If I have helped you through even one moment, if I've relieved you from the burden you carry, even for a short amount of time, it was worth it.

Drugdealer.

From one addict to another?
Help me get clean.
I need some advice.
I know it's all in my head.
I know it will fade like the tide.
Just seems like i'm up to my neck
In worries doubts and troubles.
I'm in relapse again.
After a month of being clean.
But he's a drugdealer.
And a soul stealer.
And I'm feeling weaker.
Everyday without my fix.
There's only so much religion can do.
Only so much drugs can numb.
But nothing fades the pain of love. 

Inner-struggle.

I was living a life that wasn't me
I was trying to out live my fantasy
But I had a strong shock of reality
I was walking along in my dream
And I was shot down with the truth I must face.
The road I've been walking isn't real.
The bridge I was crossing isn't there.
I've been dropped from above and fallen hard to the floor
It's like my dreams didn't want me anymore.
I'm being punished for my sins
But I'm human not an angel
I walk through a valley of life and death truth and lies and deception
Every day I drag myself on no exception.
I see myself as a soilder of my own cause and the worlds a battle I just have to fight and haven't yet won.
It's me against the world. A war of a million lonely solitary soliders fighting their own cause.
The battle I've been fighting isn't real.
The people on the sidelines will disappear.
The grounds opened up and taken me home
At least in hell my misery won't be alone. 

She&Him

Because she plays where she works
And it hurts where she lies.
He lives in control 
So he's living in lies.
He's just an indulgence
To fill up her void.
But she's the same to him.
Something they can't avoid.
Because it's not right 
But it doesn't feel wrong,
Both their boundaries
Fall crumbling down.

Everyone is a coward about something. Rise against the odds.

People have demons.
At one point you begin to lose sight of who you use to be.
You start to stop caring whats right anymore and just act on your instinct.
Some people will do anything to survive and to keep alive their happiness.
The truth is I haven't felt more alive in my entire life than I had at the beginning of this year.
And I went to some very irrational lengths to keep it.
I didn't do anything to anyone but I was reckless with my own sanity.
I was quite reckless with my heart, as childish as that sounds.
Setting myself up for disaster but denying it because I was happy at the time.
Theres is a lot I don't understand about life. You meet thousands of people.
And then you meet one person and your life is changed.
Finally you're living for something and you're finally not running away.
You rather break down every damn wall & face any danger than to lose that person.
But the problem is you are living for that someone. Living because of them.
Soon enough its not your choice and something happens and they aren't there anymore.
Everyone's a coward about something.
Some people are cowards when it comes to allowing themselves to be vulnerable.
I find that the strongest people with icy exteriors have troubles allowing people to become close to them.
I guess that's how they cope.
That's something I've learned not to be scared about. I don't hide behind walls. What you see is what you get. I'm honest about who I am. I am not a coward when it comes to things like love.
I would still fight for the people i care out, no matter what has happened in the past.
It's best to keep your hope up and never let it fade.