Runaway.

Be careful
There's a runaway out there.
Don't try to help him
Even though he's lost
Cuz he'll make you fall in love at any cost.
And then he'll runway again.
No where to be found.
But his voice remains
In your mind the only sound.
And you won't be able to rest
Cuz he took your heart right out of your chest.
He's a runaway without a home.
Someone took his heart
And he's on the search too
But he's lost cuz he doesn't know
Where she ran off to.
See she took his heart
And that's why he takes yours
Because to be in love is what he adores.

Revelations.

To not say their names
It to offer them protection
From the lies they spew.
You have your reasons
And I have mine.
But don't say you don't care
Cuz I can see you beginning to unwind.
Itching to get your questions answered
Scratching to get your way.
Doing it so subtle,
some people might consider it play.
But I've learned better.
Through trial and error
Youve got nails of a steet cat
Untamable and feral.
You dig your way in
So narrow and deep.
That no one can ever get that steep.
To pull you out by your hair.
Frankly because nobody cares.
They'd rather let you rot alone inside
But I let you stay
Cuz you've gotten ahold of my heart.
There's no taking you out
Without ripping me apart.
Your a leech
Your a tick
Your a parasite
But without having you around
Life wouldn't be worth living.
I wouldn't put up a fight.
Without you.
I'd be dead and gone
Out of sight.

We think with our hearts, we feel with our minds.

Stop thinking start feeling.You've eaten my soul, planted an impassable seed inside me.
I was fine. I was healthy and independent before this.
I had independent thoughts and independent dreams and now you're a frequent visitor.
Im not sure if you know the amount of control you have over me.
How every single action of yours and every word quickens my pulse.
I am constantly on edge. But I'm sure you know this.
Being like everyone else im sure you'll take advantage of it.
I cant play anymore, I'm fighting every single urge to just go to you.
This was harder than expected.
Why do I lack so much control when it comes to you.
I feel like a dog chasing cars.
Once I finally got you I dont know what I would do.
Am I ready to be let down again?
Would you?
You seem different. You don't seem like the rest. You aren't like anyone I've ever met before so why have you already let me down more than most. I hardly even know you but you seem to be able to put me in my place like no one has. You seem to be able to tame and control my anger and my desperation. You make me focus and then send my mind a flurry when you're absent.
I know I dont know what is coming. The issues that can emerge but at this moment I dont care anymore. I just want you. Every single thought and memory. Every story to every wall. Tell me about every brick in every wall you've built.
How is that when I am with you I feel so damn insignificant and small. I feel like a child again when with anyone else I feel like I am in such control.
If only you could be honest with your spoken word, if only you stopped making excuses.
There is no harm in giving in. I don't smile with a knife behind my back.
Words rush into my mind, and I can't seem to find anything important enough to pass my lips. It could be alternate substances or maybe the lack of nourishment or sleep thats making my head swirl, but I sit in this apartment just wanting to walk out that door and walk to find some kind of clarity in this emotion.
Quit sulking on what life has dealt you and read the cards that I hold in my hands.
I swear my hands are full of hearts.

Run.

I am rushed. There is not enough time to tell you all the things I want to say. There arent words to describe what I am thinking. Just know that I did not leave you.  I did not. They are taking me. I cannot stop them. They have total control over me, over my thoughts. There are too many. They know too much. Go into hiding my darling darkling. Hide in the memories that only we share. Go into them and live there. Dream to wake up. For I woke up to die. Dont come looking, for I am no longer there. My body will be gone by the time you read this note. They will go into our home. They will take everything. Every scrap of information, evey photograph, that might link back to that night. They are coming now. I hear them on the steps. Know that I love you, know that I never left.

Brooke if only you could understand.

When will i be enough?
Im sorry.
If i could lie down and keep you from getting your feet wet i would.
If i could protect you from everything i would.
I would rather take the pain than see you suffer.
I feel like i am at blame if you get hurt, even when it is an uncontrollable variable.
If you cry, i am at fault.
Whether you blame me or not, i accept your troubles as mine.
I made a promise. The only one ive ever really kept.
My only regret was not knowing how much you were worth in the beginning.
Not knowing that, you were worth more than the rest.
You are my one regret.
I regret ever leaving you.
I regret letting you love me.
I should of only promised you my love.
Dont love me back because i'll never be enough.
Im sorry.
Im not the victim, and im not the attacker, but am i not to blame for being a bystander and not saving you. I love you and im sorry.

Stolen and Found Anew.

From my chest to my heart,
From a thought to a word,
your touch dictates mine,
our thoughts are intertwined.

"You are the dream I've been dreaming."

From the air caught in my lungs,
to the blood pulsing under my cool skin,
all a reaction to being one again.

"You are the dream I've been dreaming."

Wind In the Sails At Last.

Seconds tick by...

Minutes inch by...

Hours have flown....

Day and weeks pass without a backwards glance. Finally, months have wasted away with no change to show. Underneath the surface the waters are deep. The monsters are multiple, but break through to the surface and you'll find the mind numbing cold. The same wind that blows harshly cutting over the flat surface with nothing to challenge its path. It's all the same above water but what turmoil bubbles beneath the surface? Not even the ocean himself knows what it holds, not even the sea herself can control what happens within her. All it takes is one movement within and it all begin to set into motion.

It seems I've sailed upon a journey alone of late. Blown off course and lost a few along the way. Battered and a few leaks have sprung up here and there but continuing on. In search of what... that is something that has yet to reveal itself. 

Out at sea, without any sign of others in sight a creature began to swim along side my boat. It brought along words of wisdom. "You are no alone. You are never alone. I am always here. Beneath the waters I reside. You wont always see me, but from you I will never hide. I am not meant to live above with mortal men but now I rise. Now I tell you this... Believe."

"Believe in what?" I cried out. But he was gone. The ripples on the surface the only proof he was ever here.

I'm embarking on a journey. There will be great times of joy and independence and times of deep sorrow and solitude but I must go on because one day I will look out onto the horizon and see home on some distant shore. I've learned that letting go is the only way to be free. I no longer flounder on the surface trying to breathe air that isn't meant for me, but plunge under the surface to places unknown. I am free because of the words I've been told.