Who is someone?

He may not be worth it
but now my real feelings surface.
I sit between four walls of light
protected from the dark outside
but not from the darkness inside my mind
I wish I could have some sort of company
a welcome distraction
to dilute the pain, a fraction,
of the strange attraction
to things that never should happen.
It's the hope in life that makes me fight
for love, the shining beacon of light
at the top of an empty structure.
Worried that if it's not there my heart will surely rupture.
From the giant let down of happiness
that all our parents promised us.
Give me a hope
then pull away the rope
watch me scramble
someway I'll handle
the deception I've been served on a silver platter.
Everyday lived the world seems flatter.
Does anything matter?
I do need the hope of a greater purpose
to keep myself afloat at the surface.
But at this point I'm treading water
I'm a woman so I must be a daughter.
But I've been wondering all along where is my great father.
Somewhere in the sky.
My voice won't reach that high.
So I must keep alive that hope
that he will let down that rope
or maybe a ladder
I don't mind the labor.
I prefer the latter.
To work for something
increases it's worth
but if it walks away
I can't buy it back with what's in my purse.
The power of an angel but the selfishness of a man
now seems like a curse.
Attractive at first
but Im getting worse and worse.
No matter how tight
i might hold on to my memories,
they float on.
Up up and away, until there's no reason to stay
all I have are pictures in frames
as a reminder of who was here
but I see them clear
I'm my mind they've been seared.
Forgiven not forgotten.
Don't know what I saw in
people, why I am suprised
everytime they leave.
I could time it like a sunrise.
Or maybe like a sunset
that must explain the upset.
Explain why I fear the dark.
And hopes shoot up at the finest spark.
Up up and away my memories turn into dreams.
And now it seems
that no matter how much people might gleam
a dream in someone is a fantasy.
Something someone like me can't attain.
Just visualize and keep hope
that my time will come
I'll come undone.
My heart will be won
by someone of worth.
Is there anyone on this earth
that can really see me and unslderstand?
Or do I put too much hope in the hands of man?